Get a big glass of Kool-aid.

Baaaahhh

2004-02-04T01:01:00Z

i feel like crying again. i haven't felt this way in weeks. it feels like everything is crashing down and here i stand not being able to move at all. But who cares? ooo boy tomorrow is going to be fun funny fun fun. Debate bus with nobody to talk to. Oh hum just because people think that i'm mad at them... you know what happens when you assume... oh well it's at the point where i want everybody that acts like they're two out of my life because i don't need the drama yanno? ackk. Whatever. All i know is that i will rock the debate tomorrow because i found evidence that you can't fight! in yo face suckas!! I don't know what's wrong with me these days i feel like i'm dying and it's only Tuesday. This week is going to be hell. Everybody should listen to Drain STH... great band even tho they broke up... EVERYTHING GOOD BREAKS UP AND NEVER PATCHES UP!!!!Yes i'm talking to *you*

All I wanted in my eyes
My frustration, your delight
Once beneath my skin consuming from within
And once I've seen...you gonna die
Eventually cursed
My tears quench you thirst

haha

2004-02-03T22:22:10Z

sorry things have been complicated in my life... but best of all

i want to smash your fucking head in you piece of shit...

YAY!

2004-01-07T22:58:53Z

You know so much about the nightmare before
christmas. You must research and study it as
much as I do. I have loved this movie since I
was a kid and studied it very hard.
Congratulations.Please Please Please vote for
my quiz.

XxThe Best and Most Challenging Quiz of The Nightmare Before ChristmasxX
brought to you by Quizilla

I feel like I'm drowing myself in you and I want to breathe until my lungs fail

2004-01-07T22:28:10Z

well kiddos guess what? You are now reading the journal of Saucon Valley's first chair tenor sax player!!! [crys of joy] but anyways... hmmmph. I am also working on my art again. Whoot it's going to be be awesome. And when i color them, i will post them on here and deviantart so you all can marvel! Well honestly i knew that this week was going to suck [just a gut feeling you can call it] First.... the ex Dan is talking to me now and as weird as it sounds i couldn't tell him to fuck off for some odd reason. Then i guess Allie and Mike are/were having problems and he flipped out at me and then i flipped out on him and i feel really sorry for it but nobody bitches at me the way that he did. I'm borrowing/stold Kristen's Northstar cd that i wanted her to buy... it's pretty good. Today i was told by the beautiful people that they love me because i'm funny haha. That made me chuckle to all ends. In Spanish we're learning about religious paintings of Mexico. o.O i can't deal but the paintings are veddy beautiful. I'm in love with Wassily Kandinsky.

Study for Improvisation VII

I have practice at 6:30.

If you get the chance to, wipe that glare off your face. French kiss my fingerprints and heave it in an alleyway. Defenseless yet so violent princess of divine your ugliness arrived on time. And I know I never was beautiful enough for you, the scars on my back turn my fingers blue.

Can you take this spike?

2004-01-06T01:14:42Z

today was another fun day. [sarcasm] the only highlights were that i saw Kristen's new hair and i think it looks like sex. hehe. Brenda also became my boyfriend until Mike gets back which is cool cuz i love Brenda. School was boring as always and i found out that all of that reading for The Great Gatsby is due this Thursday... motherfucker. Well i came home today and put the finish on my chair and got the biggest buzz ever. god damn. Then my mom came home and well i was cutting peppers for her and then i forgot that i was cutting them and i rubbed my eye and OI! ouchies. It took a long time for it to stop burning. Well i talked to Mike for about 30 minutes tonight. That's better than nothing at all. I have jazz auditions tomorrow. i hope that i do well i need luck. I also have debate tomorrow so that way i can bitch and moan about the new resolve that sucks ass. well kiddos i'm outta here <3

bah. fuck you.

2004-01-04T22:08:26Z

i have nothing to say to all of you besides that my Spanish project kicks your Spanish project's ass.

Happy New Years!

2003-12-31T21:58:44Z

yes HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU!! well today was a day to do nothing at all and i liked it!!! YEHHH I LIKED IT! and i think i finally fixed my background so that you all can see it if you get the chance to. Mike called me to tell me that Nikki's mom calld his cell phone for tonight. and then he calld me because the boy is confused. I wish i could be in Florida right now. But noooo. raaarrr.. he said that the next time he goes down, i'm going... hehe time to convert and scare another state ^_^. I'm going with this journal and my blurty which the formatting looks better on that one. but if i had some more time on this one... it would look like total sex so i think that's what i'm going to do. work on this one.

I do hope that you all are going to be partying like 1999 tonight. Just like meee! whooot!

Whatever.

2003-12-30T20:20:11Z

You are a suicidal/self-mutilating rock! Sucks to
be you...

::Which rock personality disorder (from the Zoloft commercial) should you have? (Results contain pictures!)
brought to you by Quizilla
isn't that just hilarious?

i like that haiku. It's beautiful... anyways i stold it from wretcheddestiny whoot. I found out that in my blurty... my friend Jade ran away from New York. i swear... this vacation was crappy. merh.

Finally painted my chair today. whoot.

I wanna stay in all week. don't rain on my parade please.

And if my lungs still let me breathe... will you be there for me?

2003-12-29T21:24:02Z

hello monday readers. i did nothing but work on my chair all day. merh. i also woke up at 11 so i haven't been up that long but the hours have been going slow. My mom bought me a pomegrante today and it always takes me three hours plus to eat one of those things. Man... i have an hr. and a half on the other side. i think i'll eat it when my love calls me ^_^ I went out yesterday with Kristen and Lani to the mall and then to best buy... i bought the Silverstein Cd. Veddy veddy good kiddos. After that, Lani and Kristen went to the pizza hut and ordered these cheesy breadstick things. They were greasy... Kristen saw her ex... i won't tell about that, yo. We went to the cafe then and we saw my other home slices Kelly and Marguerite! yay! after that Lani wanted to go home and the Kristen and I went to the cup to get ice cream and i gave her a lesson on pelvic thrusts... how to rite yer name in the snow hahaha

oh susana don't you cry for me.

2003-12-28T21:03:33Z

haha yehhh sorry. today was boring and blahness. i finally got my chair from my grandma's house so i can start my spanish project. i was in the basement for 2 hours smelling these fumes and i'm kinda high right now. emmp.

Layout.

2003-12-28T01:38:24Z

i have a new layout that i am proud of. i hope that you can see it. whoot. i'm still looking at that rose of mine. i talked to Alec today. he's such a nice kid. well he is to me. whoot. He told me that he got his tongue pierced and that he totally wrecked his car. Poor kiddo! Oh yeah i had an accident today. I was filling up the dishwasher and put a pot in there and didn't move my finger quick enough and it got caught between the upper tray and the pot... my finger is bleeding still and pretty puffy. it's prolly broken. whoot! I'm kind of bored so i think that i'm going on the zone to play some games that i suck at. and then watch the Iron Chef at 10 i think. I forget what time. Whatever.

Haha.

2003-12-28T00:23:31Z

Uhm hey. i finally left blurty i think. who knows? don't i always say that? Today let me say was interesting. i hung out with Kristen all day and went shopping... i got buttons ^_^ i have one that says, "Everything i learned i read in banned books." haha. and some other estranged ones. For once my sister made me feel better. She gave me a yellow rose to hang in my room... I went to bed at like 4-4:30 this morning. Oh well. I finally got to talk to mi amor. It was fun but then he got tired at six and decided to call me later when he has a chance which is good because he should be enjoying the time in Florida and i should try to enjoy the patheticness of Pennsylvania. whoot. These ferret emoticons really make me chuckle. ha.

Which band did you choose? Avenged Sevenfold

1. Are you male or female: "I'll try." She said as he walked away
2. Describe yourself: I'm not your friend. I won't soothe your soul. and in the end you're all dead to me
3. How do some people feel about you?: But keep away from me
4. How do you feel about yourself?: I've gone alone, took all my strength but i've made the change.
5. Describe an old girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: to me you were my life. to me you were my soul companion. Now you are so far away. Nothing can take the time and the memories we had. Come back- to the days when we were young. Come back- to the days that nothing mattered.
6. Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: "I'll be here waiting." tested but secure
7. Your sexual innuendo: Now you're perfecting a world.... meant to sin.
8. Where would you rather be?: All i can see is a place i wanna be. Timeless my life was so free. Leaves at my feet, blown to the ground their echoes are reaching my ears. Nights coming fast, suns going down.
9. Where are you?: I've been pulled out to watch from my eternal sleep
10. Describe what you want to be: Tormented young left without a soul
11. Describe how you live: I just want to die, take away my life... lay by your side... please
12. Describe how you love: Swallowed the lies, can't blame you for, thinking with your heart
13. Share a few words of wisdom: Sometimes life is altered. Break from the ropes your hands are tied. Uneasy with confrontation. Won't turn out right. Can't turn out right.
14. Are you older or younger: This will never end and I'll bleed forever
15. What would you like to do today: And you sit there and do nothing. you're content with doing nothing.
16. What would you like to do tonight?: I closed my brother's eyes tonight...
17. What makes you feel the best?: I see through you. The fear that's in your eyes.
18. What makes you feel the worst?: I won't see you tonight

Which band did you choose? AFI (The Art of Drowning)

1. Are you male or female: The figure on the bed all dressed up in roses, calling.
2. Describe yourself: Like a devil meant for better things, i will find my place on high.
3. How do some people feel about you?: No need to worry it's just another monster
4. How do you feel about yourself?: Like an angel with two broken wings
5. Describe an old girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: Feel one thousand pains, but one is receiving a bloody invitation
6. Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: Then take my hand and sleep with me. Take my hand and i'll be everything to you. Take my hand and i'll take everything from you. I will seep under your skin. I will. I will hold onto your heart. I will.
7. Your sexual innuendo: I'll meet you tonight in the whispers when no one's around.
8. Where would you rather be?: Along the path where the stream is talking, i breathe the mist and continue walking. As a sigh escaped my lips i feel the light caress of fingertips that steal away the breath and leave me on my own, waiting by the stairs.
9. Where are you?: The spirit song still surrounds me, in refrain, in shadows growing wings
10. Describe what you want to be: Let it begin. Make me invincible.
11. Describe how you live: On the way i wrote words for you to keep. On the way, i saw myself. Lost myself along the way.
12. Describe how you love: I'll set the world on fire and in the burning light i'll write my first love song and i will feel warmth.
13. Share a few words of wisdom: Swing thru sadness. tears of joy. Curse the sunlight. Arsenic for the boys and girls. Drink the madness, smoke so coy. Smile injection. Serum of a will destroyed.
14. Are you older or younger: Teenage death girls
15. What would you like to do today: No one could see me. I fell into yesterday.
16. What would you like to do tonight?: Let's tap your heart so we can paint the walls and see if anynody likes the tone or the pain.
17. What makes you feel the best?: Now show me to shine
18. What makes you feel the worst?: So i lie in this field bathed in the light that loves me, with nothing left to lose. Three tears i've saved for you.

Which band did you choose? Sunny Day Real Estate (Diary)

1. Are you male or female: Grendel
2. Describe yourself: The mirrors lie those aren't my eyes.
3. How do some people feel about you?: painted picture prize jewels on a crown poisoned wine
4. How do you feel about yourself?: I feel wrong. what's wrong with me? Fallen through blind myself.
5. Describe an old girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: lost myself when pain from your heart left it's trace in written words held like a seam i have no hand to heal.
6. Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: I dream to heal your wounds but i bleed myself.
7. Your sexual innuendo: Made a sign there. what leads to the heart of me while my clothes were damp.
8. Where would you rather be?: under this bridge i lie down.
9. Where are you?: in the shadows buried in me lies a child's toy
10. Describe what you want to be: the rain was there to wash away my tears. i wanted to be them but instead i destroyed myself.
11. Describe how you live: you're married to your pain.
12. Describe how you love: my heart is bruised by your words sometimes.
13. Share a few words of wisdom: Help unchain this memory
14. Are you older or younger: Now fallen child run away
15. What would you like to do today: I lost myself when spoken words agreed. Shall we dance again?
16. What would you like to do tonight?: Throw away these things that can go no longer.
17. What makes you feel the best?: my hand to heal your wounds
18. What makes you feel the worst?: sometimes you drag me on with no words to explain. although you threw away my name from your mind.

and i think the gray has been lifted. finally.

2003-12-26T19:46:29Z

hey kids. i feel a lot better. i went to the mall with my mom and my money that i scored this Christmas. I bought a green trucker hat with a cat that's going to get killed with a lawn mower and it says, "good bye kitty" on it. it's veddy cute. it's with the whole David and Goliath thing. whoot. Of course i bought cds. i'm starting to sound like Allie's bf with his cd buying. oh well. uhm i bought the Distiller's coral fang cd and my friend told me to check out Orange Island so i bought that one too. uhhmmmm I went into this store for basketball and they had the pink chucks that i wanted for $40 which isn't that bad considering what i usually pay for shoes. I decided to go back if i didn't see anything else that i wanted and get them... i went to the shoe department and bought them for fucking $5 cheaper!!! i know how to shop! yay! after that i got bored and wanted to buy clothes. Went and bought pin stripes that change color when yer in the light a skull tank top and skull underwear! went to Wendys after that. i feel happier today considering that my Christmas kinda stunk and i didn't get to talk to mi amor. i forgot to update yesterday so i'm doing it now before i call Kristen to go to Viagra records... also because Kevin hated seeing the picture of HIM on my other entry. hahaha so Kevin... This is for you!! exoh!

Call me a safe bet... i'm betting i'm not.

2003-12-24T19:57:45Z

Which HIM song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

hi kids. i cleaned out my cd collection today [hoping that i could give some of them away] well that didn't happen i think i might give you the whole list due to my bordum. i like the 60 that i listen to constantly. today i guess i feel better who knows this could drop in an instant. I woke up today at 9 and moped around the house like the pathetic girl that i am... ate some spinach dip with crackers and then a cookie with cherry kool-aid. My sister left to go with her father which is nice ~~she at least gets to see a father figure for the holiday~~. i watched Jerry Springer today [like usual] and they had this really pretty stripper person on fighting this dorky-ass skinny girl for her engaged guy... and he picked the dork-ass. the world is fuckled. I was going to play my audition piece for jazz band but then the phone rang and it was mi amor <3 yay. At least the weather is nice in Florida. Honestly i think that the weather is beautiful up here. it's raining and it makes me feel beautiful as i open my eyes every morning and cry.

Yesterday even tho i was dragged out of my house i had fun. it made me happy even for just a lil moment. i got some of the coolest presents that i could have expected! Thank you :) After the whole dinner [which made me chuckle like mad] we went to the cup to get ice cream and the guy in there was ohmyfuckinggodbeautiful! and yeah we got pictures taken and there's a real funny one that Kristen has of me on my knees praying looking quite cute. we also found out that the Aubby can put a rather large cone in her mouth and the drink the ice cream out of it. haha whoot. and then i came home and worked on my "theme songs for my life" project.

*if you clicked this... beware haha*
Thursday- Full Collapse
Coheed & Cambria- In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3
My Chemical Romance- I Brought you my bullets, you brought me your love
Rufio- perhaps, i suppose.
AFI- the art of drowning
Taking Back Sunday- Tell all your friends
From Autumn To Ashes- The fiction we live
Poison the Well- Distance makes the heart grow fonder
Bright Eyes- Lifted
AFI- sing the sorrow
Sunny Day Real Estate- Diary
Finch- What it is to burn
Alexisonfire
And you will know us by the trail of dead- Source Tags & Codes
Brand New- Your Favorite Weapon
Dropkick Murphys- Sing Loud, Sing Proud
Atreyu- Suicide notes and butterfly kisses
Anatomy of a ghost- Evanesce
Poison the Well- Tear from the red
The Used
Saves the Day- Through being cool
Sum 41- Does this look infected? [i know i own a Sum 41 cd. if you don't like it fuck off. ha]
Gob- The world according to...
NOFX- 45 or 46 songs that weren't good enough to go on our other records
Poison the Well- You come before you
Brand New- Deja Entendu
Bowling For Soup- Drunk enough to dance
Boxcar Racer [yehh i like this album fuck off.]
All-American Rejects [and this one]
Gob- Foot in mouth disease
The Vandals- Look what i almost stepped in
Everclear- Slow motion daydream
Ozma- Rock and roll part 3
Riddlin' Kids- Hurry up and wait
The Aquabats- The fury of...
Avenged Sevenfold- Waking the fallen
Less than jake- Pezcore
Anti-flag- Mobilize
Dead Kennedys- Fresh fruit for rotting vegetables
Dance Hall Crashers- Purr
River City Rebels- No good, no time, no pride
The Get Up Kids- Four minute mile
Thrice- Artist in the ambulance
A Perfect Circle- Thirteenth step
The Ataris- So long, Astoria
White Stripes- Elephant
A Static Lullaby- ... and don't forget to breathe
And you will know us by the trail of dead- The secret of Elena's tomb
Tiger Army- Power of moonlight
Three Days Grace
The Starting Line- Say it like you mean it
Sex Pistols- Nevermind the bollocks here's the...
Everclear- So much for the afterglow
Alkaline Trio- From here to the infirmary
Alkaline Trio- Good mourning
Cursive- The ugly organ
Boys Night Out- Make yourself sick
From Autumn To Ashes- Too bad you're beautiful
Tsunami Bomb- The ultimate escape
Thrice- Illusion of saftey
Story of the Year- Page Avenue
Green Day- Nimrod

By the way kiddos, have a nice Christmas!! i love you all!

Kill me.

2003-12-23T22:24:35Z

Ha. well i got my tenor to work as ghetto as it is right now. it has blue tape for a cork and a bass clarinet as a reed but i can still play which is good. i just have to wait for Pene and Rachel to set up a day so we can practice together and get into jazz band and win like last year, yo.

Saturday i think that i'm going to see Ritter and the Royal Noise Brigade with Rachel and Amber. Suprizingly people want to do things with me or maybe they pitty me for being so depressed and angry all the time.

Today was party day in school and i ate like an effin pig. so kill me fuckers. you should be happy that i'm eating. I could be the old Aubby. But now i'm miserable.

Uhm i can't go to Dan's funeral. It's going to be in Utah. that blows ass, yo.

Seven. Or forty-two. Whatever.

2003-12-23T00:07:58Z

hey guys. i'm glad that some of my blurty friends have a livejournal too. [i'm not alone yay.] well anyways. my boyfriend left for Florida today for the next 19 days. sadness comes over me like the plague also to top the cake, Kelly came up to me to tell me that one of my friends died yesterday. It was so hard not to cry in school today. I just hate how everything bad that you think can happen actually happens in such a short amount of time. Plus it's the 22nd of December today. Which means January 4th is the one year of my other friend, Garrett's death. Damn i'm really going to be depressed for the next couple of days. Not because of the fact that i'm sad usualy but because everything that i thought could never happen... happened. I think it's just one of those days when i want to cry. I try not to cry too much anymore because i want to stop. Really want to stop after Saturday. I just feel so weak and loserish sometimes. But just because i feel that way doesn't mean that i'm not happy with my boyfriend does it?

Whatever.

2003-12-20T22:57:26Z

haha like Aubby needs another journal. haha whatever. i dunno what to rite other than the fact that i'm annoyed like a mexican taco. there's too much noise going on and stuff like yanno? totally annoying. whatever. add me if you like. do your thing.

LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:	death_to_amo
Your haiku:	me you were my life was so hard not to cry i try not to cry i
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